I grew up in an abusive family where my father was indifferent to my problems. I could not go to him for affection or help, and my response to him was mostly one of fear.
This naturally carried over to my impression of God—that He was a stern taskmaster, indifferent, and forced problems upon me because He wanted to teach me lessons. I believed while it might be possible to ask God for help, it would only be granted grudgingly and after much crying and begging on my part. Even then, I could not be certain that I’d receive it.
When I developed a problem with my prostate, I felt I was being punished. Either I’d somehow done something to deserve the problem, or it was being inflicted upon me to teach me a lesson. I thought God would ignore my cries for help until I’d learned the lesson He intended to teach me.
I developed fears over my condition as I found out there could be many possible complications that might require surgery, extensive treatments, and even lifelong changes. I did not want to live my life in a damaged state. These worries affected my emotional state and caused me intense stress.
One day after asking for prayer, the words “with His stripes, you are healed” became greatly impressed upon my mind. I didn’t feel the need to cling on to this desperately. It was just a simple fact. Its fulfilment didn’t depend on me struggling to force myself to believe it.
Still, I wondered why my life was suddenly interrupted with this physical problem. I read in Joseph Prince’s booklet Your Miracle is in Your Mouth that I could say, “God, I don’t understand what’s happening, but I know one thing for sure: You love me!” That was a new concept for me, knowing God loves me, wants to heal me, and doesn’t send any sickness to punish me or teach me a lesson.
From then on, whenever I had moments of panic, I only had to recall God’s promises for peace to come over me. Eventually, I received news from my doctor that all was well with my prostate. I thank all who prayed for me. Praise the Lord!
Anonymous | Arizona, United States