I grew up struggling with insecurity even though I served in church from a young age. I felt that my relationship with God was “shakable.”
When I was in my teens, I had a few relationships and thought that in order for me to gain love and respect from the guys I dated, I had to give myself away. Although I felt the Lord telling me not to give my body to any man who wasn’t my husband, I was too weak to say no. Every time I performed the act, I did not feel any satisfaction. Instead, I felt guilty and was fearful of becoming pregnant.
This cycle continued in my next few relationships. I even faced rejection in one of them because I was no longer a virgin. I felt lost and condemned, and lost hope of ever meeting a man who would love and respect me.
In 2011, I started to attend New Creation Church and learned about the gospel of grace. Like the woman in the Bible who committed adultery, I too, received the Lord’s gift of no condemnation. And I agree with what Pastor Prince preached in his sermon titled, Experience Victory Over Sexual Immorality—sex outside of marriage is not fulfilling at all.
In church, I met a guy who loves and accepts me for who I am and he is now my fiancé. Our relationship is filled with security because Christ is at the center of it.
I can now confront and talk about what I did in the past because I know I am forgiven and I am the righteousness of God in Christ. I believe that God has renewed my body. Jesus loves me and accepts me for who I am. It’s not what I have done but it’s all about His faithfulness to me.
The writer has requested to remain anonymous | Singapore