I thank God for His deep love and inexhaustible grace in delivering me from my sexual addiction.
I began masturbating when I reached puberty. I felt wrong doing it because I was a Christian. By the time I realized that this wasn’t the life the Lord wanted for me, I couldn’t stop my indulgence.
I tried to overcome the addiction in my own strength through fasting and prayer, but the victories were temporary and I always fell back into the habit. As a result, I struggled with condemnation during secondary school. The guilt persisted and even worsened when I stumbled upon a hard drive containing pornographic material during my university days. My siblings prayed for me to be delivered from my addiction but without avail. I even entertained thoughts of suicide but held back only because the idea frightened me.
Things continued as they were until I left university in 2012. By then, I’d struggled with my sexual addiction for eleven years. During that year, I first heard Pastor Prince’s preaching. Initially, I tried to avoid listening to him as I didn’t want to add to my confusion. However, as I continued to listen, his messages resonated with my spirit. One of the podcasts I was most blessed by was the one titled, Boast Of The Lord’s Love For You, Not Your Love For Him.
It took a while for the truths to sink in but slowly and surely, I began to be more conscious of the Lord Jesus instead of myself. The Lord was teaching me to let go of my self-efforts but I was still trying to overcome my addiction by my own efforts. However, as I meditated and studied the scriptures used in Pastor Prince’s messages, I began to feel less condemned and guilty.
I expected 2014 to bring me victory as I planned to see more of Jesus in the Word. However, things turned out worse as my indulgence increased. But I was encouraged when I read the testimonies on your website about believers who had been in worse situations and more years of addiction, but found total freedom and did not even have anymore desire to indulge in their old addictions.
So I gave up trying to overcome my habits and just entrusted myself to the Lord, listening to Pastor Prince’s messages on grace, love, and righteousness. I began to continuously and vehemently confess my identity of being righteous in Christ each time I indulged in masturbation or pornography. It felt weird, but Jesus was my only hope.
The week before Easter, I heard a message in which Pastor Prince taught about Daddy God taking care of the lilies of the field and the birds of the air. After that, I kept thinking about the awesome goodness of God whether or not my acts were good. I went to my local assembly on Easter Sunday where I heard testimonies of Daddy’s faithfulness and grace working effectively on people who totally knew they didn’t deserve it. This realization of grace, which is what Pastor Prince has always taught, dawned on me for the first time and my addiction stopped.
Since that Easter Sunday, I have been free from thirteen years of bondage and anytime the thoughts come up, I confess to myself that I am not alone but that I am dearly loved by Daddy God, and that He is not withholding any good thing from me. I declare that He is not angry with me and that I am righteous, holy, and blameless in Christ. The temptations just cannot withstand these confessions.
Praise Jesus! Pastor Prince, thank you for showing me the Lord. God bless you, your lovely wife and kids, and the team at Joseph Prince Ministries.
The writer has requested to remain anonymous | Nigeria