I was born into a Christian family where we had daily prayers and Bible study. Since childhood, I was taught to read and memorize the Scriptures religiously. Growing up, I was an introvert and didn’t have many friends. As a result, I didn’t have anyone to share my happiness or sadness with. I also didn’t share my distresses with my parents as I didn’t want to trouble them or be judged by them.
Years passed, and I dreamed of becoming a doctor. I managed to secure a merit seat in a prestigious college in my state. Even then, everyone would mock me, and this caused everything I did to end up in failure. I developed a fear of failure and a desire to please people and God by being successful.
Every time I failed, I hurt myself. I wanted to be holy, righteous, and good in God’s sight, but I couldn’t escape from my sinful thoughts and ill temper. I couldn’t handle my studies because I doubted that I could meet peoples’ expectations. I also wondered how I could help people as a doctor in the future if I was helpless in the face of my anxiety and depression. The self-doubt, fear, and constant desire to please God caused me to fall into depression, condemnation, and guilt. Each time I sinned or failed, I blamed myself and repented.
No one knew of my condition. To the world, I was a carefree Christian who topped Bible quizzes, but I didn’t have any inner peace. My relationship with God was built upon self-imposed laws that I must spend time with Him, must read the Bible, and must pray. I really hated all the “musts” in my life.
One day, I discovered the gospel of grace through Pastor Prince’s teachings. For the first time in my life, I heard about how my sins have been overcome and how I can live a guilt-free life. I started to watch all of Pastor Prince’s sermons regularly. When I heard Pastor Prince say, “When you hold your peace, the Lord fights for you. When you fight, the Lord holds His peace,” I was touched and felt for the first time that Jesus loves me no matter who am I or what my past was.
I got hold of Pastor Prince’s book Grace Revolution and slowly began reading it. Day after day, I started to notice visible changes in my lifestyle. I used to not be able to forgive myself, but now I can love myself. I didn’t use to “have time” for God, but now I can spend much time reading the Bible and enjoying the love of my beloved Savior without checking my watch. He became the first and foremost person in my life. Once, I ran away from Him with fear and guilt, now I am running toward Him because His righteousness made me righteous. I now know I can never earn God’s love, but it is His righteousness that earned me love, peace, health, unmerited favor, and everything I don’t deserve.
I am secure in my relationship with the Lord, and I know He will never leave me no matter what. Today I can say I am not ashamed of my past because it reminds me of how much God loves me and gave His only begotten Son for me. I am experiencing peace and happiness in all areas of my life.
Now I am twenty-three years old, and I know my future is shining bright because it’s based on the finished work of my Abba Father. My relationship with my parents has become stronger, and my anxiety and anger management issues have been resolved. I found the true gospel and true love in Christ Jesus, and I am satisfied with His love.
Thank you so much, Pastor Prince, for sharing the true gospel. All glory and praise to my beloved, lovely, and wonderful Savior, Jesus!
Rachel Shekinah | India