Throughout the years I was raised in church and had studied at a Bible college, legalistic teachings had led me to believe that my sin was greater than the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and His finished work on the cross. As a result, I lived in constant fear that I would lose my salvation every time I sinned. My past haunted me and I could never seem to outrun it as the torment simply overwhelmed me.
I was sexually abused and threatened into silence when I was younger. This caused me to live in shame, guilt, and a cycle of violence, abusive relationships, rape, drug abuse, insanity, suicidal tendencies, and self-mutilation. I was also tortured and beaten by my first husband when I married him at the age of twenty-three.
Consequently, I developed multiple personalities and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I was admitted to a state institution and hospitalized in psychiatric wards thirty-eight times over a span of twenty-nine years. I was also bound to an addiction to cigarettes and drugs for over thirty-six years.
I was hopelessly enslaved by the chains of addictions and insanity for many years. I was considered permanently and totally mentally disabled, and was in a day treatment program for the chronically mentally ill.
Even churches started developing “compassion fatigue” and got tired of praying for me. I was even told, “Perhaps your schizophrenia is your cross to bear.”
Since they gave up on me, I immersed myself in the world of bondage and sadomasochism. But even then, I was not content and I wanted to go home to my heavenly Father, even though I thought that He did not want me anymore. I felt like I was the beaten leftovers of the church.
But oh, thank You, Jesus! He did not give up on me! I had begun watching Joseph Prince Ministries’ broadcast on television.
And as Pastor Prince taught on grace, the Lord began to open my heart, and for the first time, all the head knowledge of scriptures I had memorized since I was a child began to bring illumination to my mind, and hope and truth began to spring in my heart.
When Pastor Prince taught about how Noah never fell out of the ark even though the ark was tossed about in the water, and how Jesus said nothing could take us out of His hands, the Lord spoke to me and reminded me of a time in my childhood when I was crying, praying for my brothers, and asking God to save me. I heard Him in my heart, calling my name, and telling me, “My child, I have held you in the palm of My hands all these years that you have stumbled, fallen, and wandered. I have called you, and waited for you to turn and hear My voice. You are Mine.”
I realized then that the grace message had broken through all my chains of darkness, insanity, and addictions. I shouted “HALLELUJAH!” in my apartment, and I broke down and wept. For the first time in my life, I felt all my shackles fall off.
After that, it was as though I had never picked up a cigarette or drug in my life, and all the insanity was gone!
I now take no medication for schizophrenia, or PTSD. I no longer have fourteen personalities. My doctor, who had worked for me individually for almost twenty years has seen the changes—and has declared that I am no longer a mental patient.
Praise God for the grace message that Pastor Prince is preaching—the same gospel that Apostle Paul preached in the Scriptures! This gospel is indeed the power of God unto salvation! I am living proof and am now in a church where I am giving testimony and sharing with others the hope that they too, can find peace and deliverance from the chains that have them bound! Praise the name of Jesus!
CG | Florida, United States
Discover more amazing testimonies of God’s goodness in Joseph Prince’s new book, Grace Revolution!
Get the book today!