For 5 consecutive years, I experienced terrible bouts of depression. Whenever I became depressed, I would have terrible thoughts about God and would constantly think about taking my own life.
I kept trying not to submit to depression, but I just didn’t know how to get out of the cycle of defeat. I felt like God was always disappointed and looking down on me. I even thought that He favored my friends more than me. I felt like the unwanted, unloved stepchild in my Father’s eyes.
A friend of mine told his friend about the difficult time I was going through. His friend began to share with me about Joseph Prince and how he taught the gospel. I could not imagine how a pastor’s teaching about the gospel would be able to change my life.
As my friend and I went through 4 gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John together, I also started watching Pastor Prince’s sermons. The first sermon I heard was Grace Flows in the Worry Free Areas of Your Life. In it, Pastor Prince spoke about the time when he was really depressed. Tears filled my eyes. I was touched that my heavenly Father spoke so personally into my situation through the sermon.
I continued watching Pastor Prince but I still had a lot of wrong believing clouding my relationship with God. I was also constantly worried that He would punish me if I did something wrong.
After battling with these thoughts for some time, I was convinced that I could do no good for God or anything right in His eyes. I attempted 3 times to commit suicide in my dormitory room. At that time, I felt the presence of the Lord like never before. It was almost as though He was crying to see me trying to take my own life. Then I heard my friend in my room, praying over me, and somehow I managed to get up and stopped my own attempt to kill myself.
From that day forward, I stopped listening to messages that caused me to fear God. I also sought the Lord about the medication I was prescribed and heard Him speak to me about it. While the Lord can use medicines, I knew in my heart He was going to do so much more for me than medicine could.
I continued to watch Pastor Prince’s sermons day and night. I also partook of the Holy Communion frequently. After weeks of doing this, the Holy Spirit brought to my attention that I had not been depressed. I also noticed that the depressive thoughts that I would normally have were now easy to reject. I waited a few more weeks to confirm the healing and the depression did not return. God completely healed me of depression! All glory to God!
I am so thankful for all that Jesus has done. He was the one who got me through that terrible time in my life. Jesus is amazing!
Kynnedi Henry | Mississippi, United States
