I received Christ at the age of thirteen and attended church regularly for about a year till the weekly pressure from church leaders to bring and convert newcomers got to me. It made me constantly feel like I was not good enough.
After I stopped attending church, my life went into a downward spiral. I used relationships to compensate for my low self-esteem and ended up divorced with a young child. Then, a man I met some time later left me because his mother objected to our relationship.
As much as I knew that I had to be strong for my child, I felt extremely dejected.
I drank heavily and when that did not work, I started living promiscuously. I tried to put on a happy front but I was dying inside and I hated myself. I was later diagnosed with severe depression. The therapist put me on medication because he was worried I would hurt myself.
One day, feeling suicidal, I cried out to God to take my child and me home. Interestingly, shortly after that, I got to know a new friend who invited me to New Creation Church [Singapore]. Previously, every time I thought of attending church again, I would feel that I was too dirty and sinful for church. However, this time round, something in my heart told me to go.
I will never forget what I felt as I sat in my seat, listening to Pastor Prince preach the gospel of grace.
It was as if every single sentence was meant for me.
I stopped taking my anti-depressants that very night because I knew I didn’t need it anymore. It’s been a few months and I am fine.
I am in awe of Jesus’ love for me every single day. I no longer worry about finding a life partner who can accept my past. The sad songs in my MP3 player have been replaced with praise and worship songs and I want to dance with joy every day. Life is absolutely wonderful when you have the love of Jesus Christ.
The writer has requested to remain anonymous | Singapore